I’ve got a jar of dirt. And guess what’s inside it?

I love jar food. It’s so quirky and cute and rustic and just ticks all my aesthetic boxes. It used to be so rare to happen across but now it’s everywhere. It’s even all over MasterChef, and once MasterChef is doing it you know everyone is going to be doing it.

But I have a serious problem. Every time I see jar food, I get a particular sing-song voice stuck in my head. I’ve got a jar of dirt. I’ve got a jar of dirt. And then it’s stuck in my head all day, until I start singing I’ve got a jar of dirt and it gets stuck in everyone elses head. There was only one way to deal with it, and that was to replicate it with food.

If you’ve never seen Pirates of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest and have no idea what I’m talking about, this may or may not help.

Deciding on how to make the dirt was easy. Much like any flower pot cake, biscuit crumbs make perfectly deceptive enough dessert dirt. I blended up some sweet sand-coloured biscuits and added enough butter to make them adhere.

But deciding on what to pair it with was filled with a lot more indecision. After throwing around a lot of ideas I decided there was only one solution; a heart. The thump thump. It is of course what Jack thinks is inside the jar when he’s sing-songing about it.

I pushed the biscuit crumbs up the side of the jar so that from outside they would hide what was in the middle, then used a heart-shaped cutter as a guide for shaping the rest. I made the heart-shaped column deep and reaching as far as the bottom or the jar so you’re still getting a decent amount of filling with the biscuits.

Then all that is left is to fill it. I opted for cheesecake as it’s one of Cameron’s favourite things, and a standard pairing with biscuit crumbs. It’s easiest to pipe the filling in so you don’t dislodge the biscuit crumbs.

After a little time to set in the fridge your jar of dirt is ready for all kinds of deception. Or just for nomming.

You can flavor it with and of your favourite flavours. I went for strawberry simply because the colour (and what I had on hand) prompted it.

There’s no baking in this recipe, so you don’t have to find heat-proof jars. This also means that you can tailor the size to your preference. If you want a greater ratio of cheesecake to biscuit you can get a wider jar. This was mostly me having a little fangirl moment, but you can use the idea for a dessert for a loved one for an occasion or otherwise. You can also have fun with the shapes inside the jar and vary it for any occasion.

Here’s how to make your very own jar of dirt.